Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Titanic 2: USS Dickrod - Maize And Trouble

Buckeye User Rating: 9.9/10

Director: Rich Rodriguez

Writer: Michigan Athletic Department

Tagline: No QB, No Lineman, No Shot

Plot Outline: Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriguez guides his Maize and Blue ship through spring and fall practice, watching the pieces fall off and players jump ship before the SS RichRod makes the Titanic sinking look graceful.

A typical Michigan Fan review: The SS RichRod is a wild ride that never ends. I know it's something different than what's been done before, but it'll have the Columbus boys shaking in their boots. Lawsuits, scandals, lost recruits, lackluster QBs, and 5 star players jumping ship like it's on fire, I mean how am I supposed to keep up!? This ain't Lloyd Carr's team no mo!


Now I’m not saying that Michigan will never be good again, or even that they are going to have close to a losing record this coming season. A key indicator of the weak economy is sliding factory orders, a weak dollar, and high unemployment. A key indicator of something being wrong with a football team is when 5 Star recruits quit the team. When James Cameron decides to make a movie of the fabled football team cracked in half and sunk to the bottom of the ocean, we know that no one would have to play Ryan Mallet’s role. And now we learn that, after the first week of practice, they will also be out a starter on the Offensive Line, Justin Boren. Boren should have been a junior this upcoming season, picking Big Blue out of Pickerington, Ohio. Rivals thought enough of him to consider him a 5 Star player.

Boren came out Wednesday to question the ‘team’s family values’. Therein lays the problem with the regime change at Michigan. At what losses do you consider a coaching hire the wrong move. Sure you might confound teams with a spread offense and make some fans and players happy, but how much tradition do you have to sacrifice in the process.

What's even more disconcerting is those that wear the Maize and Blue glasses. That's not all Michigan fans, not the smart ones. Smart ones know strengths and weaknesses. The dumb Michigan fans are the ones that run around screaming:
  1. We didn't want Terrelle Pryor anyways, we didn't need him.
  2. We were glad Mallett transferred, he was a prima donna and didn't fit in.
  3. RichRod is weeding out players, and Boren couldn't cut it.
I never agree with MGoBlog, but they know to take cover when they see a tornado coming at their house. They were worried about the QB spot and downright freaked over the Boren departure. The truth is that Boren is a mammoth of a man who feels he didn't fit in at the NEW Michigan. That's what happens when kids get left behind by the school they trusted. Now the kid has to sit out while Rich Rodriguez fights lawsuits and tries to install his offense. Justin Boren wanted to be just like Jake Long, except that new Michigan won't give him that ticket to the NFL like the old Michigan gave Jake.

All I can say Justin, there's always Ohio State.

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