Head Shots

Clemson's Bursar's Office Accepts Straight Cash, Homie - In the first completely non Big 10, non Ohio State story ever on this blog, Clemson recruit Kenneth Page has told Tommy Bowden that he would rather not take up a scholarship and would rather pay for his tuition straight up.

Kenny has been working hard this summer, says his mom, mowing lawns and slingin' rock.

Stay Classy, Michigan - Every Michigan blog in the land has taken its shots at Justin Boren and his decision to leave Michigan for reasons including 'lacking family values' and 'running back to the line of scrimmage'. Fans and bloggers will take their shots, but Boren may have the last laugh if he walks on at Ohio State over a scholarship at Michigan. DickRod, Bo isn't happy!

Maize n Brew thinks its funny that offensive lineman are fat and like donuts...and their lone returning STARTER on offense, Steve Schilling, got manhandled by Vernon Gholston. Ha!

Hacks with Computers: The Musical - I'm not a professional writer. I don't try to be. I don't get paid. That's why I can take shots at hacks that do get paid to write garbage. John L. [Smith] Crawford of the Fernandina Beach News Leader thinks that Florida is good and Ohio State is bad. Chances are, when your paper's name is the "News Leader", they are actually a ways off.

"Welcome to college football, Terrelle. Enjoy four years of inflated rankings and no rings ..."

John L. wishes Terrelle Pryor luck in college, or is fat prick disguised as a writer. He also thinks the SEC should be tremblin' in their workin' boots because the new clock changes in college football will allow Florida to run 10 more plays per game, on top of the 70 per game they ran last year. He pulls this number, 10 plays, off the top of Florida's OC's head. Which is great for Florida, unless that extra time created by Florida running the no huddle offense creates more plays for the opposing offense. Man, I'd had to see Michigan with 10 more plays against Florida...and that's just Michigan.

Fatties know sports!

Titanic 2: USS Dickrod - Maize And Trouble

Buckeye User Rating: 9.9/10

Director: Rich Rodriguez

Writer: Michigan Athletic Department

Tagline: No QB, No Lineman, No Shot

Plot Outline: Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriguez guides his Maize and Blue ship through spring and fall practice, watching the pieces fall off and players jump ship before the SS RichRod makes the Titanic sinking look graceful.

A typical Michigan Fan review: The SS RichRod is a wild ride that never ends. I know it's something different than what's been done before, but it'll have the Columbus boys shaking in their boots. Lawsuits, scandals, lost recruits, lackluster QBs, and 5 star players jumping ship like it's on fire, I mean how am I supposed to keep up!? This ain't Lloyd Carr's team no mo!

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Now I’m not saying that Michigan will never be good again, or even that they are going to have close to a losing record this coming season. A key indicator of the weak economy is sliding factory orders, a weak dollar, and high unemployment. A key indicator of something being wrong with a football team is when 5 Star recruits quit the team. When James Cameron decides to make a movie of the fabled football team cracked in half and sunk to the bottom of the ocean, we know that no one would have to play Ryan Mallet’s role. And now we learn that, after the first week of practice, they will also be out a starter on the Offensive Line, Justin Boren. Boren should have been a junior this upcoming season, picking Big Blue out of Pickerington, Ohio. Rivals thought enough of him to consider him a 5 Star player.

Boren came out Wednesday to question the ‘team’s family values’. Therein lays the problem with the regime change at Michigan. At what losses do you consider a coaching hire the wrong move. Sure you might confound teams with a spread offense and make some fans and players happy, but how much tradition do you have to sacrifice in the process.

What's even more disconcerting is those that wear the Maize and Blue glasses. That's not all Michigan fans, not the smart ones. Smart ones know strengths and weaknesses. The dumb Michigan fans are the ones that run around screaming:

1. We didn't want Terrelle Pryor anyways, we didn't need him.
2. We were glad Mallett transferred, he was a prima donna and didn't fit in.
3. RichRod is weeding out players, and Boren couldn't cut it.

I never agree with MGoBlog, but they know to take cover when they see a tornado coming at their house. They were worried about the QB spot and downright freaked over the Boren departure. The truth is that Boren is a mammoth of a man who feels he didn't fit in at the NEW Michigan. That's what happens when kids get left behind by the school they trusted. Now the kid has to sit out while Rich Rodriguez fights lawsuits and tries to install his offense. Justin Boren wanted to be just like Jake Long, except that new Michigan won't give him that ticket to the NFL like the old Michigan gave Jake.

All I can say Justin, there's always Ohio State.

We're going to need you, buddy.

Meet Jim Heacock

Jim Heacock, Defensive Coordinator of the Ohio State Buckeyes, is in one weird situation.

As the verifiable leader of the Buckeye defense he has led a squad that has put the pain to 99% of the teams they have faced. They have been Top 5 in total defense almost every year since Heacock's transition from the Defensive Line (though, they were before too). In fact, the 2007 (ehhhh) Silver Bullets finished the season ranked #1 in both Scoring and Yardage, including the #1 pass ranked defense. Heacock was named Coordinator of the Year and got a trophy.

So Poe, you said weird situation.

Well yes, I did. The Buckeye defense is also responsible for yielding 41 and 38 points in back to back National Championship games. Oops. The first could have been more and second should have been less. That's 79 points. 70/2 is 39.5 points per game. Shit, Jim. Shit, Jims. Jim Tressel, Jim Bollman, and Jim Heacock.

How does Ohio State play in one of the most memorable NC games of all time in 2002 and can barely muster a presence in the next two? Guess what the score of the 2002 game was after 4 quarters...17-17. That's more like it.

Now I won't blame one coordinator, player, or play for either loss. But I'm just stating the facts. And they aren't pretty. The 2002 Miami team was arguably one of the most talented teams of all time. Ken Dorsey was one hell of a college QB, and Chris Leak and Matt Flynn were not. Doesn't matter, because Ohio State made them look like Heisman winners. Welcome, boys!

What Ohio State really needed was a break. 2007 wasn't supposed to be a NC game season, but maybe it would have been better to have WV vs Missouri. Hindsight is 20/20, but at this point it doesn't look like a whole lot is standing in between Ohio State and a 3rd straight appearance, for better or for worse.

Who do I blame? It has to be the Big 10. It'd be nice if every team played Ohio State the way Wisconsin did last season, even if it was semi-manufactured by Jim Tressel. Ohio State can't afford to tie one hand behind its back to play conference foes, such as by stashing the playbook or resting Beanie Wells an entire first half.

Or maybe the team just needs to play balls out when it needs to...

He is Better Than You.

Meet the Tressels.Oh and their dogs, get this, Scarlett and Gracie. Scarlett and Gracie. Mother fucker Jim. You just earned another notch on the totem pole of Ohio State football in my book. Scarlett and Gracie, awesome. Thank you Canton Repository.

However, Poe is disappointed that those aren't the daughters' names. Commitment, Jim. Commitment.
[Note: Poe is not single, yet would marry a Tressel and preferably a daughter. In case either stumble on this blog. ;-)]

Anyways, I'm assuming the dogs are girls, because we all know what the boys would have been named: Woody and Hayes

So, Now What?

In case you just woke up from a 70 year sleep under a rock, Terrelle Pryor signed his letter of intent to play football for The Ohio State University Buckeyes. Awesome, Rivals and Scout say he’s the #1 recruit in the nation while ESPN “The Worldwide Leader in Sports” chooses to put him at #6. Jokes on them since recruiting numbers don’t really matter, but you have to like the chances of a 6’6” 230lb athlete that runs a 4.4 forty yard dash.

So what now? The Buckeyes currently have 3 QBs on the roster (2 scholarship) with Todd Boeckman, Antonio Henton, and Joe Bauserman (walk on). Luckily, Robbie Schoenhoft took his rocket arm to Delaware, though it was expected that he would be suiting up as TE rather than QB.

What does this mean to…

Todd Boeckman?

Nothing. In fact, Todd Boeckman should be thankful that Pryor chose Ohio State. Let me repeat, Todd is not in danger of losing his starting spot to Pryor and should be more worried about Antonio Henton (not that it will happen). More than anything, Boeckman now has another weapon to utilize in addition to the NC game runner up (aka loser). It adds another dimension to offense, and lets not think for a second that Tressel would hand the reigns to a freshman over a 6^th year senior who will be in grad school. Ain’t happening.

Antonio Henton?

Now this is a little tricky. We keep hearing about how Henton was coming on through the year (after his sticky situation with CPD) and had passed Schoenhoft for the backup spot. The truth is, we haven’t seen him play football since the beginning of the 2007 season and didn’t play (although he was rumored to) in the National Championship game. Mark this down: Antonio Henton will be the backup quarterback at Ohio State. But wait Poe, isn’t Terrelle Pryor supposed to be super recruit? Ah yes, read below. As for Henton, if Boeckman goes down or pulls a Jimmy Clausen, Henton and not Pryor would be the leader of the Buckeyes.

Terrelle Pryor?

Wise move, young man. He weighed his options and apparently made the right choice. So where do you play the stud recruit. Maurice Clarett didn’t redshirt, nor did Ted Ginn, nor Beanie Wells, but Justin Zwick did. I wouldn’t rule out a RS, but I would highly doubt it. Terrelle Pryor will be called QB backup ‘a’. What? Why ‘a’, and not 1^st, 2^nd, or 3^rd? With all the talk about a Tim Tebow like role at OSU, Pryor could end up with more playing time than Henton. Boeckman-1 Henton-2 Pryor-A. It doesn’t make sense, I know. Pryor will not be asked to run the offense, but will be asked to create a spark anytime he is thrown in the ballgame to pass or rush. Pryor may be called upon at any time during a game, while we most likely won’t see Henton until the 4^th quarter. My belief is that Pryor will in fact see more playing time than Henton, while being the third in charge to RUN the offense. Pryor is too good of an athlete to keep of the field for an entire game, and until defenses figure him out, there is no reason to not use him as at least a distraction.

Confusing, I know. But it better not be confusing for…

Jim Tressel.

That’s right, I said it. I don’t want Pryor playing INSTEAD of Boeckman or Henton, but he better be out there contributing when he can. The biggest complaint heard around Buckeye Nation is the lack of creativity on the offensive side of the ball. Jim, you don’t have to listen to them 99% of the time. It works, we know. But when you need to show something different, do it. Buckeye Nation watched the 2007 National Championship game and wanted to see a reverse, wanted to see Henton come in for a couple plays, wanted to see Jer’male Hines come in at RB. Anything. We got a bootleg to Saine, and that was it. Good news, it worked. Bad news, that was it. I expect Boeckman and Henton to run the offense, and I expect Pryor to run a middle screen to Saine for a 25 yard TD with 10 minutes remaining in the 2^nd Quarter of the USC game. Why? Why not.

Pryor Hath Cometh

The long awaited commitment of the nation’s (almost unanimous) top ranked recruit is here, and it’s a big score for the Buckeyes. We’ve kind of assumed it from the beginning, guessed it along the way, and now it’s on a LOI.


Start the hate, envy, and confusion:

The Denied
Michigan Fan #1: Michigan’s future wasn’t relying on this kid anyway.
Michigan Fan #2: We never wanted him anyway, Pryor didn’t fit in.

Penn State Fan #1: We have 2 better QBs than him anyway.
Penn State Fan #2: We have a great institution, Pryor would ruin it.

Oregon Fan #1: We didn’t think we’d get him anyways.
Poe McKnoe: Okay, that’s fair.

The Ignorant
ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption’s Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon had a tidbit on their show about the Pryor decision. In fact, it was the second story after the Rockets losing to the Celtics. Okay, that’s fair. It’s a big story so it should be second.

But then to spend the duration of the segment discussing how, and I quote, “This is not news”. It’s against the rules of common sense to devote one or two minutes discussing how a story is not news on national television. It’s news because you made it news, Tony and Michael. I went to work today, and that didn’t make PTI. NOT NEWS.

Then PTI proceeds to finish it off with “Well Michigan is the school that has been turning out the NFL QBs, not Ohio State”. Wrong. Lloyd Carr and his pro style, dropback passer offense has sent several QBs to the NFL, even though Tom Brady is really the only one to be concerned about. Ohio State has never had a Tom Brady, but they have had a Heisman Trophy winning QB. The Rich Rodriguez spread offense isn’t the ideal producer of successful NFL QBs. You could say West Virginia isn’t the hot bed of NFL talent, but most NFL QBs have come from less known schools such as Southern Mississippi, Ole Miss,

The Needy
The Detroit Free Press published a couple, several, more than a few, ok, 10 [ten] (TEN!) articles after the Pryor announcement. That’s just post press conference. People get paid for this? I mean nothing else is going on in Detroit? Recession? The Mayor? The Pistons? Nothing? The ‘Articles’ had such zingers as: “Michigan shouldn't be disappointed that it missed out on Pryor” and “Michigan's future never depended on Pryor”. Geez, don’t act like the sky is falling or anything. Play it cool.

The Sporting News is an entertaining farce. Most articles are written to get the readers’ panties in a bundle. TSN couldn’t quite keep up with the Freep.com, with only 7 separate stories and letting each writer take a stab and writing something reasonable. The writers publish stories that bring out the writers of Dumb and Dumber 3, complete with a supposed text from Tressel to Pryor.

And Finally...
The University of… Lamaar Thomas, who committed several months ago, started the new trend of calling The Ohio State University The University of Ohio State. I’m okay with it. It becomes a big deal when Pryor says it, but ol’ Flash couldn’t even make a splash. But there has to be rules, rules, rules.

The term will only be applicable during the following circumstance: It can only be used when a recruit commits to Ohio State over any university that include “The University of” in their moniker. In this case, The University of….Michigan.

Just One Wouldn't Do

I expect something similar on every Penn State, Michigan, and hell, even Oregon blog.